Is Negotiation Ethical or Exploitative?

Is negotiation ethical? Before you answer that question, think of all the times you negotiate with friends and family without even knowing it.  Pizza vs. sushi; watching football vs. going shopping; sitting on the couch vs. doing laundry.

But then, think of the time you learned that your friend spends $400 less a year on cable and gets the same level of service. Or consider how you would feel if you found out a younger colleague who does the same job as you at work is making $25,000 more a year. 

Whether you like it or not, negotiation is part of life. And while it feels great when you make deal, it feels horrible when you've been exploited. Since September, I have been taking a class on Negotiation at Baruch College, as part of its part-time MBA program. Each week, we split up into pairs or teams to improve our skills through timed negotiations. Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to be aggressive or pushy to win. In fact, it is quite the contrary: planning, listening, and at times remaining quiet will often help you reach a more successful outcome. Still, no matter you negotiate, at the end of the day, there are often repercussions than can last far beyond the agreement.

When you learn that Frank bought the same car for $5,000 less from the same dealer, you're upset and will likely change your behavior the next time you buy a car. You might even see it as a competition, and be angry at Frank for "beating you" and jealous of his ability to secure a better deal. The same is true of receiving money, whether it be a peer's higher salary or a sibling's greater inheritance.

When I debated this question of ethics with someone recently, I was told I was a communist. That was a bit harsh. So we negotiated, and agreed I would be deemed a socialist. But just so I don't feel like I got the raw end of the deal:  socialism, despite its historic misuse, still helps millions of people around the world get free healthcare and education. Of course, whether those systems are truly free or ultimately helpful will be our next debate, and hopefully we'll be able to reach an agreement.

Arturo Gatti - Micky Ward: A Lifelong Friendship that Started in the Ring

Fighting brought Ward and Gatti closer together.  Photo: insidehboboxing.com

Hugging between opponents is ubiquitous in professional sports -- especially boxing, football, and basketball -- where athletes have often competed with or against each other in the past. But the embraces of  Arturo "Thunder" Gatti and "Irish" Micky Ward after their three legendary fights belied something far more unique. The two didn't just share mutual respect; they loved each other.

As told in a touching documentary on HBO, their trilogy of fights brought them closer together. Ward won the first bout on May 18, 2002 in a majority decision, after which the two hugged and ended up recuperating in the same hospital together. Gatti won the second fight in November, after which the two got to know each other while still feeling the pain from the fight. In a 2010 story in Esquire, writer Chris Jones captured that moment beautifully:

They had struck up their first real conversation in the hospital waiting room after their second fight, when Ward couldn't hear out of his left ear and Gatti couldn't feel his right hand. In each other, they had found that rare man who could withstand ridiculous levels of punishment, who could see hope even through rivers of his own blood. The lumps and burns and titanium plates only reminded each man of the other's love. One day, they decided, they would do things like golf together.

Their last fight -- in June of the following year -- went the distance, with Gatti winning again by decision. The competition was fierce with both giving and taking a barrage of hits. But it was not their fight that people remember; it's their friendship that developed afterward. Gatti continued to fight and take multiple beatings, and Ward stood by his friend, working in his corner and training him for his last fight in 2007. 

In 2009, Gatti was found dead in a hotel room in Brazil while on vacation with his wife and their 10 month old son. His wife was initially arrested by police and charged with first-degree murder after police said she choked him to death with her purse strap. Less than a month later, Brazilian authorities announced the death was a suicide and released her. Among the questions raised was whether his courage and 49 fights had taken a toll on his mind.

More autopsies and investigations have been completed and the debate over whether it was a suicide or homicide continues. Ward is among those still hoping Brazilian authorities will reopen the case. But no matter what happens, their iconic rivalry and enduring friendship will live on as a testament to the power of sports and the character of two historic champions .